Dreams and schemes

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Location: Brunswick, ME, United States

I am fun-loving, a dreamer, but not much of a schemer. I try always to be a good friend, and a good mother, daughter and sister. I am a hard worker, and I like to work hard and also to have a good time. I am serving in the Peace Corps, in Moldova, and the insight and opinions in this blog are mine, and do not reflect the opinions of the US government or the Peace Corps. "I cannot do great things. I can only do small things with great love."

Monday, October 29, 2007

Moody Monday

Reading over my last note, I have gone from being okay that I have a job, to completely over-whelmed today with having two jobs. Last night I started my work at LLBean for the season. I went in at 11 pm last night, and got home this morning around 4:30, slept until 7 and came back to Sweetser at 7:30 this morning. I just went home for lunch, and I am about ready to collapse. I have an assessment scheduled for 1 pm, and then I will be able to go home and sleep. I don't have to be in until 11:30 tonight, so I should be able to get some good sleep. I hope writing will keep me awake until 3 or so. I think once the routine gets set I will be in a much better place. I sure hope so, because this is crazy-making.

Friday morning was Breakfast at Becky's with the crew from Portland, most of them now in Saco. Great to see them all, and Betsy, too! How fun! Friday night I came home from work and Mike's friend Shawn was visiting. We went to LLBean, since he had never been in the big store before. I had plans to go for dinner, so we weren't there long, but it was a really nice time. I realize when I have times like that how fun it is to go shopping with a man. After leaving Shawn with Mike, I drove down to Portland and had a really lovely dinner with Bob, Sondra and Kai. What a nice family life they have, and a such great way to start the weekend.

Saturday I did work around/inside the house and spent time talking with Linnea. It was rainy and sort of crappy out. Linnea called several times with issues with the roof which was leaking so badly into the hallway she said it was like being outside in the rain. She talked to her Aunt Brenda, Uncle Larry, Uncle Bob, and her friend Rich from work to try to figure out the leaking roof, and what to do next and about the house in general. I am so proud of how she is learning to problem-solve. None of us get through this life without problems, so the better she gets at figuring out how to get the answers that work for her, the better off she will be in the long run. It is hard to know that she is struggling, but it is the working through struggles that makes us strong. Anyway, I know it's been hard for her and I am proud of how well she is learning this, and working at it.

Saturday I worked at trying to tile the bathroom floor. I bought the tile, adhesive, grout, and then asked my great neighbors for help to cut the tile and help with the actual installation. It will be nice to have that floor done. I am guessing it will be a week or two until it is done, but it will be nice to have someone do it instead of me. I can't imagine trying to do that and these two jobs all at the same time. I was hoping I could do it myself and have it done before I started last night at Bean's, but of course that didn't happen.

Tomorrow my BFF from Kutztown, whom I have been friends with since we were 4, turns 50! Happy Birthday to you, Helen! The card is in the mail. Waiting to hear from Kirsten, and I need to get an email out to her. There have been such bad fires in the San Diego area, and I don't have her new phone number, or I misplaced it. Hope she is doing well in the wake of the fires out there.

I sent off an application to St. Croix for a SW job, and the PC has said that it will be Spring, but as of today I still have not been medically cleared, and that needs to happen first, so still no word...I'm heading home to sleep.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dazed and Confused

What a week! All week I have been preparing for the end of my work life at Sweetser. Saying good-bye, being happy about leaving, and relieved that the decision was made for me. It has been in the works for awhile. I thought that I would be let go two months ago when Lisa and Robert ended and the Portland office closed. So, really, I was not so surprised about my ending. What was surprising was the phone call I got yesterday afternoon at 3 pm, asking me if I wanted to stay on in a per diem capacity to do assessments. The call center, no surprise, is backed up with people needing assessments, and they want me to stay on and help out. OMG. Can they not figure anything out???? While my initial reaction was to run, laughing and spiteful, as fast and as far away as I could, I am at the core a pragmatist. The rate for per diem work is almost $30 more than the hourly rate at LLBean. That is too much of a difference, with the cost of oil, not to at least consider. So, at my good-bye party at MJ's last night (What a fun habit that is getting to be, two weeks in a row!) I let co-workers know that I am not really leaving. They were quite gracious about it, saying that they were glad that I was staying on, but I sensed some confusion from others, (perhaps projection???) about why in the world I would be doing this. I am dazed and confused.

The other confusing thing to me this morning is why someone just stops calling. After a month of flirty phone fun, the calls have stopped. I don't know why, and it makes me sad. I need closure, and I don't know how to get that. I obviously know that "some one rude is not good for me, better off without him, yada, yada...." It still makes me sad. Oh well. At least I have a job.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Monday, Monday

What a fun weekend! Starting with a great party at MJ's to celebrate (?) Adrienne's divorce on Thursday night. A cosmopolitan kind of night, time out with Tess and about 30 women, talking, drinking, relaxing. Lots'o'fun! Nice to see Erica, whom I hardly ever get to see, Lisa who is looking relaxed, Sue, Sarah, Nicole and Rachel, who always make me smile...along with lots of other friends of Adrienne's who I don't know nearly as well. I was feeling happy and good and tagged along with a core group that headed to Bath. Actually, it was the plan to go to the "Riverdive" which made this appealing to me. It is a place that Linnea has been, and talked about, and a place I would not typically go to. It was fun, even though it made me feel a little out of place and old. There were people there who were older, but for me the bigger issue was not knowing the music well enough to dance. That is probably a good thing. as the old guy who was on the dance floor looked like a total goof, and I am positive that I could have easily embarrassed myself if I had gone out on that dance floor! When I left, it was a little before midnight and I didn't have the number for the taxi, so I headed up the hill to the convenience store....and ended up walking home! It is probably 7 or 8 miles. I had a good time out by myself, and I love to walk at night, so, except for the last mile or two when it started to rain it was a good time. I got home in about 2 hours. Not a great pace, but okay for the time of night and my lack of motivation to move faster after a long day.

On Friday morning I got up and drove to Pennsylvania to spend the night with Linnea. We were planning to drive separate cars up to New York State on Saturday morning for my grandmother's 90th birthday party, but I decided to ride along with her and go back to Pennsylvania on Saturday night. The party was a lot of fun, considering that almost everyone there except immediate family was over 70! Both Julianne and David (my brother and sister) were there, along with Johnny, Daniel (Juli's boys) and Emile (David's daughter). James is in Argentina, Stephen in Chicago (more for Juli), and Nate (David's) in Seattle.

Yesterday I spent in the car again. I do not mind driving, although I hate sitting in traffic. Fortunately, I left PA early, and was home by 3 or so. Last night I went to see Across the Universe, a musical based on Beatles songs. I loved it! The musical genre does not appeal to everyone, but I thought this was really a nice movie, and a great way to end the hectic weekend. I won't tell more about it, but I do recommend it.

David is flying back to St. Croix today. It was 32 degrees this morning in Brunswick. I got email from the PC this morning saying that they are once again reviewing my medical information. I am pretty philosophical at this point about it all. I have been looking at Social Work jobs in Hawaii this morning....that would be warmer! I'll keep you all posted!

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Best Flight I Never Took

What a week and half this has been! When I wrote last I was preparing to head out to Louisville, KY to present at the National Association of Case Management Conference. My flights to Louisville were essentially uneventful, although I did fly Portland-Washington-Louisville on NorthWest, instead of my scheduled flight which was to take me through Detroit. I was only about an hour past my scheduled arrival time, and overall it was a good flight. The hotel in Louisville was awesome. The conference was at the Seelbach Hilton right in the downtown area, within walking distance of the Louisville Slugger factory and museum, and the Muhammad Ali Center, both worth the walk. The Hotel was built in 1905, and is very historic and pretty. The city of Louisville was clean and everyone I met was welcoming, friendly, and gracious. I always get rejuvenated professionally when I attend this conference, and learn about all the different ways that people are doing the targeted case management services in different parts of the country. One program that I was talking to some casemanagers about was a team delivered case management where three case managers work together to cover 75 kids. Two case managers have responsibilities for 30 and the other works with 15 and provides clinical oversight to the other two. Not exactly sure how it works, but the people I was talking to really liked working in this team model. Overall, it was a great trip....until it was time to come home.

Back on Continental, I was scheduled to come through Newark. The flight out left on time, and was only slightly delayed, circling around Newark. I was supposed to head out of Newark at 9:30, and that flight was delayed to 11:30. At 11:15 the flight was cancelled, with the next flight offered for 9:30 the following night, on Thursday. That was totally unacceptable to me, knowing that it is only a 5-6 hour drive home from Newark. I was willing to rent a car, but a nice man from Yarmouth offered to rent the car if I was willing to help with the driving. Joining us on this adventure was Danielle, a recent Colby graduate, heading back to Waterville for a Friday interview for a Fulbright Scholarship. We had an uneventful and friendly trip back to Maine, ending with breakfast at Sean's home in Yarmouth with his wife who was very surprised, and his three kids who were thrilled to see him, and confused about who we were, and why we were at the house for breakfast!

I got back to my house in Brunswick at about 7:30 from a ride from Danielle's friend, Tom, who came down from Waterville to take her back there. Since I was pretty awake still from a night of serious coffee drinking, I showered and went into work for about 2 hours and then came home to sleep. Later that same day in the afternoon, I heard that I was not selected to keep my job, and my last day at work will be 10/19. At that point I did have a meltdown, fueled by a nice bottle of w(h)ine. I wish that I had news from the Peace Corps to temper my anxiety about being unemployed, but whatever happens is meant to be. I will do the seasonal work at LLBean until the holidays have past, and then make some decisions about where to go and what to do next. Tomorrow I am going to call PC to check on the status of that application, as it is feeling a little more critical to have that information. In any event, I will keep posting, so you all can keep track of my little adventures.