Missing Linnea

Linnea moved out of Brunswick and back to Reading last Monday, 5/21. She stayed with Kristen for the first few days, and then I drove down to see her on Friday. This was not as easy a week as I am making it sound today, a week and a half later. The house was not really habitable, and it has taken some effort and money to begin to make it feel like a home for her.

My drive down on the Friday of Memorial Day week-end was surprisingly not memorable, just lots of traffic, but overall it was uneventful, with the exception of my bout of Pinkeye. Saturday and Sunday both were spent painting, cleaning, visiting, shopping for paint, and appliances, and more housework. The bright spots to the weekend were visiting with Brenda, Larry, Dale, Bob, Donna, and Bobbi and Kera. Everone was helpful and polite about how rank we smelled from all of the work and no showers. Thankfully, Brenda and Larry invited us for showers and dinner on Saturday night, and that was very nice. On Sunday we worked in her bedroom all day, and then I left around 6 p.m. and drove back to Brunswick. Monday was a pretty quiet day, and I was pretty wiped out. Yesterday, it was back to work and I felt even more tired. I think it just caught up with me. I left work a little early, and just went home to relax. While I was relaxing, Linnea was getting the plumbing fixed at her house. She can now shower and use the toilet, so that is a good thing. Now, she is waiting for the appliances to be delivered tomorrow and her furniture as soon as we can rent a U-Haul to move her bed and other "big" furniture down there. I am sure she is sick of sleeping on the floor.

I am really proud of how hard she is working at this, to make this house her home. It is fraught with memories for both of us. For me the memories are mostly happy ones, from when we were a family, and she was a little girl living there. I think her memories are mixed with adolescent rebellion and grief also, and probably not as overwhelmingly positive. So many people question this decision to live there, but that neighborhood and home still feel pretty comfortable for me. I guess it is the history and memories that make it okay in my mind, even if there is some risk. As she has said, there is risk in everything, and this is an okay way to save some money and pay off some bills. I still worry and miss her all the time.

This afternoon I am heading out to the other Portland (OR) to present at the Federation for Families Conference with Susan and Jeanette. This is different from other conferences that I have presented at, as this is the first time that I am part of a team that is presenting, and that should be fun . Also, this is a different audience, and I am looking forward to seeing who is in the audience. Maybe my friend, Wendy, from PA will be there. It would be nice to see her. In any event, I'm sure it will be a good time.