Dazed and Confused

What a week! All week I have been preparing for the end of my work life at Sweetser. Saying good-bye, being happy about leaving, and relieved that the decision was made for me. It has been in the works for awhile. I thought that I would be let go two months ago when Lisa and Robert ended and the Portland office closed. So, really, I was not so surprised about my ending. What was surprising was the phone call I got yesterday afternoon at 3 pm, asking me if I wanted to stay on in a per diem capacity to do assessments. The call center, no surprise, is backed up with people needing assessments, and they want me to stay on and help out. OMG. Can they not figure anything out???? While my initial reaction was to run, laughing and spiteful, as fast and as far away as I could, I am at the core a pragmatist. The rate for per diem work is almost $30 more than the hourly rate at LLBean. That is too much of a difference, with the cost of oil, not to at least consider. So, at my good-bye party at MJ's last night (What a fun habit that is getting to be, two weeks in a row!) I let co-workers know that I am not really leaving. They were quite gracious about it, saying that they were glad that I was staying on, but I sensed some confusion from others, (perhaps projection???) about why in the world I would be doing this. I am dazed and confused.

The other confusing thing to me this morning is why someone just stops calling. After a month of flirty phone fun, the calls have stopped. I don't know why, and it makes me sad. I need closure, and I don't know how to get that. I obviously know that "some one rude is not good for me, better off without him, yada, yada...." It still makes me sad. Oh well. At least I have a job.