Starting to pack, deal with the big issues
Okay, now it is really starting to feel real. The holidays are over, the snow is on the ground, and any diversions that were in my way have now fallen by the wayside. I have only a few more weeks of work, and absolutely NO investment in being at Sweetser, other than to hang out with the people that I really like and will miss terribly. I know I am not really keeping anyone from doing their own work, but I am so distracted at work that when I am not actually doing an assessment I am totally useless.
I know that so many people think that I am a laid back person, and maybe on the outside I appear that way. All I can say is that I have been anxious, tearful and really second-guessing this whole leaving thing. Some of the anxiety is clearly tied to money and a huge upcoming outlay to the dentist. It is KILLING ME to do this, and I know that is a significant part of my current frame of mind. Also, it is so cold here, and at least I have central heat. Who knows what I will have there? I just was talking with Adrienne, who referred to it as COLDOVA instead of Moldova. She cracks me up! I don't want to be cold. Today at least, I want to go somewhere warm and soak up the sun. (I know I am whining, sorry!) She made a really good suggestion that I call my friend, Ed, who was in Africa last year in the PC and returned in Feb. I believe that what I am feeling is normal, and part of the process of letting go, but I was not expecting to feel these feeling quite so strongly...YIKES!
Linnea has been great about everything, and she has once again stepped up to show me how to do some things that need to be done. I have had some strong feelings about men and relationships and confusion about everything, and just feeling generally overwhelmed. I think of her as the more excitable person most of the time, but she has been like a rock. Just supportive and grown-up, and it is very cool. She is heading back to PA this weekend, so be prepared to read more whining, and anxiety-driven rants as the time draws near. This too shall pass....
I know that so many people think that I am a laid back person, and maybe on the outside I appear that way. All I can say is that I have been anxious, tearful and really second-guessing this whole leaving thing. Some of the anxiety is clearly tied to money and a huge upcoming outlay to the dentist. It is KILLING ME to do this, and I know that is a significant part of my current frame of mind. Also, it is so cold here, and at least I have central heat. Who knows what I will have there? I just was talking with Adrienne, who referred to it as COLDOVA instead of Moldova. She cracks me up! I don't want to be cold. Today at least, I want to go somewhere warm and soak up the sun. (I know I am whining, sorry!) She made a really good suggestion that I call my friend, Ed, who was in Africa last year in the PC and returned in Feb. I believe that what I am feeling is normal, and part of the process of letting go, but I was not expecting to feel these feeling quite so strongly...YIKES!
Linnea has been great about everything, and she has once again stepped up to show me how to do some things that need to be done. I have had some strong feelings about men and relationships and confusion about everything, and just feeling generally overwhelmed. I think of her as the more excitable person most of the time, but she has been like a rock. Just supportive and grown-up, and it is very cool. She is heading back to PA this weekend, so be prepared to read more whining, and anxiety-driven rants as the time draws near. This too shall pass....
posted by Jami | 4:20 PM
1 Comments:
You can do it! Whatever you decide "it" will be... I love ya!
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