Just a quick update

I just wanted to let anyone who was worried after reading my last note that things are better for me already. It makes me wonder how much the hot and humid weather, combined with all of the mosquitoes and a spider bite impacted my mood at the end of last week. The time in Chisinau was well-spent and productive. I spent Sunday night visiting with my friend, Teresa and her host family. We had a really nice visit, and a great dinner! Then, after dinner, the wind blew, and there was thunder and lightening, and it poured. Since that time, it has been about 15 degrees cooler. Autumn is in the air! I got back to my village last night and slept a few hours, and I am generally feeling better. I'm still sad, but I do know that there are reasons that things happen the way that they do, and the things that are out of my control I have to let go of. This week is the last before school starts, and like every year, this feels like the true "new year". I've always been so academically oriented, that the beginning of September always feels more like the beginning of a new year that January 1. There isn't much else going on, but I wanted to reassure anyone who was concerned that I am doing okay.

Four weddings and a funeral

No, not the old Hugh Grant movie. This is the tally of events missed to date, not including birthday parties and new babies. So congratulations are in order for Candy, Adrienne, Kristen Tresaloni, and for Danielle, and the funeral, sadly for my Uncle Ed. Best of luck to each of the new brides as they start on a new journey of partnership with their beloved.

I am writing very early on Saturday morning here, Friday night at home, as it has been another up and down kind of week, and I am up and awake now. Last weekend I spend both Saturday and Sunday visiting with Andrea, who lives in the closest village. It is about a two hour walk to her house, so we met both days at the main road to eat ice cream and visit. Surprisingly fun in an otherwise boring weekend. We also agreed to travel together on Tuesday to visit the market at Stefan Voda, and visit with Renell. Tuesday turned out to be a great day. The bus from my village almost broke down, and was filled with rubber-smelling smoke by the time we got to Stefan Voda, but that was the only thing that happened that was not great, for the whole day. We didn't buy anything at the piata, but went to the post office, and then to the bank and the store. In the store I got a text message from Renell saying that she was baking chocolate chip cookies. We got to her house just as the first batch was coming out of the oven! Renell is always a thoughtful hostess, and this trip was no exception. Warm cookies and milk, her friend, Drea, and Andrea and I visited for a few hours. We had such a great visit! Both Renell and Drea are finishing out their service in October. They were so positive about their experience here, and about how quickly the time goes. I was feeling more positive than I have felt in a few weeks, maybe since seeing Teresa and Veronica and traveling to Odessa. A good day, maybe the best since I have been here. The rest of the week, not so much....

Since Wednesday, I have been back to questioning this decision with a new intensity. An intensity that I am sure will pass, and I'm sure I'll work through, but it has been a rough couple of days. I have struggled with the irresponsibility of leaving so many financial matters to my parents, and I have worked through most of that. I surely feel better about some of that, now that my house is rented and they are always reassuring me that it is fine. I have worried about my feelings that I am abandoning Linnea, but she seems to be doing just fine without me most of the time, so that has been reassuring. The last piece of work that I need to figure out, and maybe the hardest of all for me, is figuring out my personal life. Not wanting to share too much, I have struggled to figure out my feelings for a special person. Last month, he had a very rough month, and I think my letters brought him comfort. He wrote some things to me that I held onto and believed. Only a month later, his actions speak louder than the words he wrote, and I am hurting. Hurting in a way that is deeper and more painful because I am isolated from my usual supportive friends and family, and calls and letters just aren't the same as a hug. Its so hard when the people you love the most let you down, because then there is no one to turn to. I can't really talk through and about all of this with him from this distance, and that just makes it worse. Not to worry, the not eating will not kill me, and eventually I will sleep and stop crying, but honestly, I don't think I have felt this bad since John died. It's been rough. The heat and infernal mosquitoes are only negative enhancements on a terrible couple of days, along with the fact that the people that I do know in the village are all at the Black Sea for vacation these last two weeks before school starts. I am not sure that it would be worth the work to try and explain my current status in Romanian, so maybe I should just go with relief that I don't have to talk about these feelings. Not having any other outlet though, is probably the reason the emotional stuff is in the blog. Tomorrow I am going to Chisinau for a VAC meeting, and I'm staying over to see the doctor Monday morning for a B12 shot. If I haven't slept by then, and certainly if I'm still crying like this, I'll ask her for something so I at least sleep. Some of the crying for sure is because I am so tired.

Enough of that, although how I feel and what is happening is not resolved for me. Here is another funny outhouse story, no roosters involved, and more in keeping with my mood this week. Recently, spiders have been building their webs across the door, so that every morning, I have some spider web on my arm, or worse, on my face. Yuck! I didn't know this until yesterday, but they are also building webs across the seat. Most things have enough force to make it through the web with no problem. Not always paper, but I'll leave it at that. Yesterday morning, doing my thing...got a big old spider bite on my ass....that's just the way my week has been! I can't wait to go to Chisinau tomorrow. Life has got to get better soon. Please don't worry, I'm just venting like a fan and air conditioning would be nicer. My room is 87* at 7 am, and I think its the coolest part of the day. Miss you all and hope that you are enjoying the last days of summer vacation....Jami

Another week

Another Sunday, another week served, and another week closer to home. This past week I had a site visit from Peace Corps. The acting Program Manager, Ana, came for a visit on Tuesday. This meeting went well, I think, in terms of her helping to clarify for my partner the parameters of my work in the village. I have a pretty clear understanding about what is expected of me, but I am not sure that I have been able to communicate well enough to be clear to my partner. An example of this was that she wanted me to teach health and safety issues to students in the high school. While I have been amazed at some of the safety things I have seen, and I have some more today, this is not really in line with my role as a community and organizational development volunteer. There is a group of volunteers who are here working in health care programming, and one of them is in a nearby village. She might come and do a one day seminar, which I can help coordinate, but really it is not my area of expertise. All in all, it was helpful to have Ana come and define things. Some of the communication that took place was not so much about language, as about authority. Even though Ana is a young woman, she represents Peace Corps and verifies what I have been saying about what is expected of me with an authority that is respected. It helps, for sure, that she is Moldovan and firm. Its not that I haven't been respected, but I think my partner has been less clear about my responsibilities and role here than I have been, and my communication is limited. I think now some things are clearer for both of us.

A visit to the building where I will be working was also on the agenda. I have been told by my partner that the foreman has been telling her that it would be completed by the beginning of August. Didn't happen. Then she told PC this week that it would be done by the end of August. I said to Ana that I couldn't imagine that it would be completed and ready for residents to move in much before November. My partner called me a pessimist, but there is still a lot to do! I responded by saying that I am a realist! When I met with her on Friday, she had met with the foreman, who confirmed that it would probably be mid-October before the building was completed. I feel absolutely no satisfaction in being a realist about this, and in fact, it is a little bit frustrating not to have this work in place. I am patient, but I will be really glad when it is done. The sooner, the better. I just try to work within realistic time frames.

The flooding of the village has definitely receded, but there are still many fields within sight in the Ukraine that are under water. The crop loss has been significant, but I have not seen any information on potential financial loss. In this part of the world there was no loss of life, so that is positive.

So the safety thing that I saw this week confirms for me that I want to stay as healthy here in the village as possible. This week I saw the ambulance driver and medic stopped in the center of town, smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, and then getting into the ambulance and driving off! It's been hot all week, so I understand wanting a nice, cool beer, but again, what are they thinking?! I have seen them smoking often while driving through town, but this was the first I saw them having a beer while on duty. Since cigarettes are about 50 cents a pack, lots of men and even young boys smoke. It is a cultural thing here in the village that women don't smoke. I have only seen one woman smoking here in the village, although in Chisinau I have seen more women smoking. So on that note, I keep walking, try to stay cool and healthy, and try to be as productive as possible. There are only a few short weeks of summer left, so I am enjoying them, as I hope all of you are! Miss you all. Jami

Another Happy Birthday and some fashion statements

It's a slow Sunday afternoon here in the village, and I am wishing that I could be sharing another birthday, this one with my friend, Bob, and also, my nephew, Dustin who is having a birthday on Tuesday. Have a great day, and know that I am missing you! Since I last wrote, I have gone to Stefan Voda on Thursday afternoon, and Friday I went into Chisinau. I met some friends and we had a mini-reunion of the training group from our village, five out of six of us, without Veronica. It was nice to go into Chisinau this time, I think the pace was better, or I was in a better mood, or something. When I got to the PC office, I had 5(!!) letters, so that alone improved my mood considerably. I took a nice, long, hot shower (!!!) and then went out for lunch with my friend, Teresa, to a fancy Uzbek restaurant. I was thinking of and missing Betsy and Momen while wondering how authentic the food was, but it was nice to have a nice lunch and visit with Teresa. In the late afternoon, all five of us headed to Magdacesti to visit and get together. It was so nice to see Maria and the girls, and we had a quick dinner, and then gathered at the "Church Bar" for an evening of fun. This bar has an Icon of Jesus on the Cross in the front yard, hence the reference. I wasn't out very long, because the day started for me at 4 am to get into Chisinau, and I didn't want to drink much. Yesterday morning, I got up early, visited with Maria, ate a huge breakfast of fried fish and fruit, and headed back into the city. I hung out at the PC office for a while, and then headed back to the village on the 1 pm bus. Along the way, there was some problem with the bus and we all had to get off and wait by the side of the road for about 20 minutes while the men on the bus jacked it up and were looking underneath. With nothing visible changing from my perspective, and little command of the language, I am not sure what they were doing, or how whatever it was that was causing the problem was resolved, but we were back on the road and home only a few minutes late. I'm glad it was August, and not January!

So, here is some commentary on fashion in Moldova. Anyone who knows me, knows that I do not care much about fashion. I like comfort over beauty, and that alone is enough to make me stand out in Moldova, where the sparklier, the tackier, the better! I have been surprised by some things that I have seen people wearing: Lots and lots of men of all ages in capri pants, with socks and sandals, man purses (lots of them), grown men wearing Tee shirts that say "Super Boy" (Who is Super Boy??) and today at the Piata I saw a toddler wearing a Tee shirt that said "Southern girls like slow, wet kisses" I know that people don't necessarily know what things say, but who makes these things? Men wear shoes that are very long in the toes, and in my opinion, not attractive at all, but they do make their feet look bigger, if that is the look they are going for. (You know what they say about big feet!) Women prefer anything with sparkles, glitter, lace, and short, (dresses and shorts) and the older women wear bathrobes as coats in the winter time. Eggplant is a favorite hair color, that lovely maroon tint looking not one bit natural. I know the questioning of sense of fashion is reciprocated by the looks I get for the hiking shoes I wear, and maybe some other things. Women especially, look at my feet and my shoes like I have just stepped off a space ship, and sometimes I feel like I have!

It is true everywhere in the world, I think, that summer goes by too fast. The days are noticeably shorter, the mornings just a little cooler, and a touch of Autumn is in the air. My mom wrote and said that I was nearly 1/4 of the way through. Math is not my strongest subject, but I do know that it is only 1/8 of the service time that is completed. Thanks for the optimism, it is appreciated! I do try and make everyday meaningful, even when I just want to be home. I know I will do good things here and that this is a good thing to be doing. That doesn't mean I don't miss you all everyday.

Forty years

Actually its only been thirty nine years, since 1969, that the flooding of the Nistru River has been as bad as it is right now. My village is mostly on a hill overlooking the river, but there were some homes in the older part of the village, close to the river, which were actually flooded by yesterday afternoon. On Thursday afternoon I had helped some families who were relocating possessions out of their homes in anticipation of possible flooding. By Saturday afternoon the river had flooded the adjacent fields in the Ukraine, but had not flooded into Moldova. In the village there are levees built up to protect the fields from typical spring flooding on this side of the river. By Monday morning, the water had risen and the lower fields in town were flooded. Many people have lost some crops, but there has been no long-lasting damage to dwellings. In nearby villages, the losses have been much greater, with some homes lost. It has not rained in several days, and the water slowly seems to be receding.

On Friday afternoon, my friends and fellow volunteers, Veronica and Teresa came for a visit. We had a great weekend! They brought smiles, my package from home (thanks Mom and Dad!), chocolate, and movies which I can now watch on the computer. We had a great weekend, and I loved having their company for a few days. We had a big adventure on Sunday, heading to Odessa for the day with my friend from the village, Natalia. We went sightseeing, went to the beach, and had a great time. Because of the flooding, the bus took a detour both coming and going, and the travel time was significantly longer than usual, but it was still a good trip.

With the flooding, construction on the Center is almost at a standstill. Maybe the building will be ready by October. I am learning patience at a new level every day.

Another safety thing I saw this past week that sort of blew my mind: Remember I wrote a while ago about all the construction guys wearing flip flops to work in? This past week I saw road crew workers, pouring hot top in flip flops!! That has to be dangerous, or is it stupid? I guess its technically not my problem, but what are they thinking?? The other thing I learned this week from Teresa is that if you go to the hospital here, you are responsible for bringing your own linens and having someone bring you your meals. Family members bring baskets with food into the hospitals here everyday and feed their injured or sick. That's one way to cut medical expenses! There are lots and lots of things I am learning here everyday.