Heart attack

Last Thursday, when I was having such a nice day, and took the time to write about it, my mom was in the hospital having tests done after having chest pain on Wednesday night. On Friday morning she had bypass surgery, and I am freaking out. I hate being so far away much of the time, and at times like this it feels almost more than I can stand. Peace Corps in Washington has called the hospital and also talked to my sister, both of whom have said that she is doing well, and her situation is not life-threatening, so going home won't qualify as paid emergency leave. That doesn't make me feel much better, although of course, I am thrilled that she is doing so well. My brother flew home from St. Croix, so this feels to me like if he made the trip, then I should, too. My family is not asking me to come home, but this is really difficult. I am so torn about what to do. God, sometimes I can't believe that I ever wanted to do this work more than just be home....I guess I'll be listening to those CD's a lot more in the next few days and weeks.