The hardest time of year

Its the middle of November. I don't hate the cold, but I don't really like it, either. But what is most difficult thing about this time of year, for me, is the darkness. I want to live in the light. Or at the very least, somewhere lighter. I don't like that it is dark before 5 pm here, and doesn't get light until after 7 am. It is not so different from Maine, but I didn't like the late fall darkness there, either. And, even though I just said that I don't hate the cold, this year it has taken on a new meaning. I don't like the outhouse in the cold, I don't like bathing out of a bucket in a house that doesn't really get warm, and I don't like when there is ice on the bucket of well water in the morning! Yuck! Every year, I struggle through these last few months of the calendar year, from September through the Winter solstice, knowing that the light will soon enough reverse itself. Personally, this is also a time of year filled with anniversaries of personal loss, yesterday being the ninth anniversary of John's death. I'll be in better shape in January. Even though it will probably be colder, I will at least be comforted knowing that the light is increasing a little bit everyday.

Knowing that this weekend would be a time of potential sadness, I worked really hard this past week to stay busy. It's always been my best defense mechanism against the blues. The week started out with a national teachers strike which began on Monday and was resolved by Wednesday night. The teachers did get a small increase in salary, but are still under-paid compared to other countries. Not necessarily compared to other professionals in Moldova, but compared to other teachers in other parts of the world. An average teacher here makes about $120 a month. Not a whole lot of money, that for sure. Peace Corps staff shared with volunteers some statistics from the US Legatum Institute, http://www.li.com/, about the prosperity level of Moldova. According to their report, Moldova ranks 84th out of 104 countries, between Honduras and Pakistan, and the lowest rating among European nations.

The strike only had a very minimal impact on me, in that Lidia had more free time and was at home more this week than usual. I spent the week, which for the most part was very cold and very damp, painting the fence at the Center. Not fun. Not fun at all. Too cold, for one thing, and it was so cold that the oil-based paint was like glue, even with paint thinner added! It is now a green fence, which is still in my hair and on one pair of jeans that I wore everyday to paint in. I painted with several other women all day on Monday and Wednesday. On Thursday there was only the gate to finish, but it was raining, and the paint wouldn't adhere to anything, so someone else probably has finished it up. The Grand Opening was originally scheduled for tomorrow morning, but Friday morning while I was in Chisinau, I got a call saying that the opening has been postponed until this coming Friday, 11/21. That should be a good thing to help get all of the details done and make everything nice.

My friend, Kim, pointed out to me that I haven't really written about what the Center will be used for. The money for this project came from the Moldovan government to provide social assistance to different villages across the country. There is also money that was donated to this project through a development grant from the Swedish International Development Assistance (SIDA) program. My village has used the money to create this Residential Center, which will be able to provide supported living for both children and the elderly together. I have worked in both kinds of facilities, but never in a facility which worked to serve both populations at the same time. It should be interesting. The plan is to have 4 elderly residents and 8 orphans living there. At the same time. There are two rooms for each age group, but the kids get bunk-beds, so each of the two rooms can have 4 kids in them at the same time. The furniture is in place, the opening is scheduled, and the interviewing for staff is happening. Progress, a little bit at a time. I'm still not sure that it is entirely clear how staff will be paid, or who exactly will be living there, but every little bit moves the project forward. The concept of a needs assessment seemed to be a new idea, but welcomed. I do feel that I am listened to, and respected for my opinions, so sometimes it feels like I need to remember to keep my mouth shut and let this community figure out this project without me, or with less input from me. I like being consulted, but not necessarily deferred to, and we are all working together on that one.

Knowing that the weekend would be a difficult time for me, I had made plans to spend the time in Chisinau. Just getting out of the village for a day or two can be refreshing. I went into town on Friday morning, got my flu shot and my B12 shot, went out to lunch with Teresa and then to my first host family for a visit. Drank too much home-made wine, and spoke Romanian for hours! Hours! Without a break! I had a good time, but yesterday I paid for it. I attended training all day for the Peer Support Network, PSN, and by the end of the day I was tired and weepy. But, after training all day I went back to Maria's for more of the same! I must have a masochistic bone somewhere in my body! I drank some more last night, much less than Friday night, but both nights I slept in the bed with Dorina and Viorica and had elbows and knees poking me all night long. Oh well, sometimes you get what you ask for. Today was much more relaxing, even though it was long. I spent much of the day relaxing with some of my fellow volunteers in the Peace Corps lounge, went to the first meeting of book club, and sat on a slow bus ride home for three hours. All and all, not too bad. Only six more weeks until the solstice. When I make it to that time, I know I will have made it through another milestone. My thoughts this week are especially with Betsy, as Moby is celebrating his first birthday, and her mother is having some health problems, and with Kirsten. I hope the fires in SoCal are far from you all and that you are safe. I miss you all. xoxo, Jami